Sight Unseen, 2nd Draft

Here is the second draft of my most completed short story. Any feedback on what you liked, disliked, and possible suggestions on how to improve it, are greatly appreciated.

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Kismet retreated into the secluded woods behind the neighboring village of Levan. Her soul settled as she filled her lungs with the sweet smell of autumn. She strolled toward the pond ahead, the gentle breeze easing her mind. She wanted nothing more than to cleanse away her troubles and forget about those who, every day, bring her such grief...

“H-hello? Is someone there?” called out a young man.

Kismet flinched in surprise, her heart skipping a beat. She quickly hid behind a tree. Her cheetah tail froze in alert as she slowly peered out the side of the trunk. A young man dressed in typical village attire stared in her general direction. His eyes suddenly locked onto her yellow cat-eyes, but gave no reaction of fear or surprise, as if he didn’t even notice her.

“Hello?” he called again.

The man continued to stare blankly in Kismet’s direction, growing more anxious with every passing moment. All her life, people have been frightened of her. Being a Cathera, she had a slender, cheetah-patterned, fur-covered body, with large, yellow cat-eyes, large feline ears, and a long tail; the sight of which brought nothing but fear and hatred from those that saw her. She hated it. She hated being feared for reasons she could not control.

Kismet gazed back into the eyes of the young man. The fear in his eyes wasn’t the same fear she grew used to seeing, but was instead a fear of the unknown. His eyes were empty and grey. It dawned on Kismet that he was blind and was probably frightened because he feared her footsteps might have been from something more threatening.

She stepped out into plain view. His expression remained unchanged. He was surely blind. Kismet replied back, “Umm...sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

The young man appeared to be eighteen, about a year older than Kismet. He let out a small sigh of relief and laughed nervously. “Don’t worry about it. Ever since I went blind, it’s not an uncommon feeling. The name’s Ced,” he said, extending his hand in greeting.

Kismet approached him slowly, lost in disbelief that someone would treat her with such warmth. She reached out to shake his hand, but remembered that he has not seen who she really was—what she really was. Kismet stared at her fur-covered hand next to his, bare-skinned. Her heart ached with a heavy sense of loneliness as she withdrew her hand. The darkness, she told herself, is the only reason. “I’m Kismet.”

He leaned against a nearby trunk, tilting his head slightly, “Kismet? That’s an interesting name. I don’t seem to remember anyone by that name around here…are you lost? Or maybe visiting someone?”

“I was just looking for somewhere to relax,” she replied, standing a few steps in front of him along the pond side.

“I know how that can be sometimes. I come here when I want to relax and forget about my troubles.” Ced paused a moment. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to your thoughts. It was nice meeting you.”

Ced brushed his clothes, and began walking off. Kismet trembled slightly as an overwhelming, yet familiar, wave of loneliness resonated throughout her body. “Please, don’t go.”

“I wish I could stay, but I really should—“

“Please!” she pleaded.

Kismet, taken aback by her uncontrollable desperation, could do nothing but stare helplessly at him. She dug her claws into her palms, as if it would keep him from leaving. Ced turned back around and found his way back to where he was standing. He lowered himself down, resting one of his arms on a bent knee. “I guess I could stay a little longer,” he said with a smile.

Kismet smiled back with relief. Sitting down, she wracked her mind for something to say, but found herself speechless from the shock of someone actually willing to spend time with her. She averted her eyes to the ground beside her, embarrassed at being unable to find words after having asked Ced to stay. She watched him stare blankly in her direction with a subtle smirk on his face. Despite his company, his empty gaze at her created a knot in her core. For all he knew, Kismet was a perfectly normal, human girl that he happened to meet by the pond side. She couldn’t help but think of what would happen if he discovered what she really was. She tried and tried again to think of something to say, but all she could about was the loneliness she would face again if he were to discover the truth.

“You’re awfully shy, aren’t you?” chuckled Ced.

“S-sorry, I…it’s just—“

“There’s no need to be so nervous,” he reassured her. “So, where are you from? I’m from Levan, about five minutes west of here.”

“Rokan,” replied Kismet.

“Oh? The capital? That must be pretty exciting. I’ve only been there maybe two or three times. It’s always so full of life there, especially at the center plaza.”

She shruged. “I guess so.”

“You don’t think so?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t know. I’m not supposed to go there, not that I would really want to,” she replied.

Ced leaned forward curiously. “Why is that?”

She forgot that he still thought she was a normal person. She chose her next words more carefully. “I’ve always preferred being somewhere quiet and away from the city.”

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. In the end, I think I would always prefer living in Levan over Rokan,” he replied in agreement. “Speaking of which, aren’t your parents worried about you being all the way out here, away from home?

“I doubt anyone would really notice I’m missing,” answerd Kismet. “Delphi is busy until night, so I usually just wander around until then.”

“Delphi? Like the young Princess Delphi?”

Kismet’s heart skipped a beat. She dug her fingers into the ground with frustration for having carelessly mentioned Delphi’s name. Rumors have run rampant that the King allowed the young princess to keep a Catheran as her own. Carelessly mentioning her name in such an informal way, Kismet was certain Ced would soon deduce her true identity, even though her own name was not well-known.

“Did the Delphi you know used to live in Lesai?” continued Ced. “I remember she passed by here with her family a couple years ago when they were on their way to the capital to sell their harvest for the fall.”

Relief filled Kismet from head to toe. However, she refused to lie and say that it is the same Delphi. “A different Delphi. The one I know has always lived in Rokan,” she confessed nervously.

Ced smirked. “Hah, if I didn’t know better I’d think that you—“

“Ced! Are you still out here? The sun’s almost set!” called out a woman’s voice in the distance.

“Okay, I’m coming!” he called back.

Ced rose to his feet. “Well, that’s my mom calling. It looks like I better get going.”

“Oh…,” said Kismet sadly.

“Sorry, I really wish I could’ve stayed longer. It was a pleasure, Kismet. I hope we can talk again sometime.”

“Will I get to see you again?” she asked desperately.

“Of course, I come here almost every day.”

Kismet, completely overjoyed, smiled in response. Even though he couldn’t see her smile, he smiled back as if he felt her happiness, filling her soul with a warmth she never felt before. She sat there, in a stupor of bliss, watching him walk back home. Never did she imagine she could enjoy a normal conversation with someone other than Delphi. But finally she was able to, and wanted nothing more than to do so again.


For several days, Kismet visited Ced at the pond in the afternoon. Then one day, after the moon was well overhead, Kismet decided to go to the pond and relax in the water. She slipped out of her clothes and walked into the cool, refreshing water. The moon shined brightly off her wet fur as she stood in the shoulder-high water. She dipped her head in the pond. The water trickled soothingly down her face.

“Is someone there?”

Kismet quickly ducked into the water, and peeked over the surface. She scanned the shadows of the trees and saw him standing there. “Ced?”

“Kismet? Is that you?” he replied.

Kismet stood in the center of the pond, her shoulders just above the water. “Yes, it is. What are you doing here so late at night?”

“I was about to ask you the same thi—Are you in the water? I’m so sorry, I had no idea,” he instinctively looked away and shielded his eyes.

Kismet chuckled softly. Never had someone shown her the same courtesy as they would show a real woman. In fact, people purposely stole her clothes when she bathed, which eventually led her to only bathing with Delphi, or sneaking out of the castle to bathe in ponds at night. It’s not that she cared if someone saw her unclothed, since a thin fur covered her body anyway, but it was the snide remarks people would throw at her, and losing the clothes that Delphi gave her.

Kismet, touched by the gesture, reassured him, “You don’t need to do that.”

He laughed then sat down. “I guess you’re right, not like it’d make a difference anyway.”

Kismet walked out of the water and sat a few steps to the side of him. Ced fidgeted uncomfortably, blushing. He cleared his throat. “So, why are you out here all by yourself this late in the night? It must be close to midnight by now.”

The gentle breeze felt rejuvenating as it blew over her dampened fur. “I had a long day and wanted to relax,” she replied.

“But it’s dangerous at night, especially for a girl. And shouldn’t you be sleeping?” he asked.

Kismet frowned slightly. Although grateful for his concern, she felt as though she were living a lie, hiding within the shadows, pretending to be someone she’s not. Ced, who imagined her as a gentle young woman, couldn’t even begin to imagine the lean, athletic feline figure that sat next to him.

“I couldn’t sleep. And I really like it here. I wanted to come visit this afternoon, but I couldn’t,” she answered.

“Oh. I was wondering if you were going to come visit, but we all have things we need to do.”

“Sorry, I really wanted to. But what about you? Shouldn’t you also be sleeping?”

“I tried, but I had a lot on my mind, so I came out here to try and settle them,” he replied.

“Well, I don’t know if I can be of much help, but if you want someone to talk to you can talk to me,” offered Kismet.

Ced pondered a moment then gave her a warm smile. “Have I ever told you how I lost my vision?”

Kismet never really thought about how Ced lost his vision, or even that he was, at some point, not blind. All she cared about was that it allowed her to talk to him. “Nope. What happened?”

He leaned back on his palms. “Well, first off, about five years ago Allie and I began our relationship.”

“Allie?”

He smiled somewhat sorrowfully as he reminisced. “A girl who lives in Lesai that I’ve been friends with since I was four. She’s a year younger than I am. That was when my family started working on her family’s farm. We would always play together, and even as we grew older, we were still the best of friends.”

“She must be a really wonderful person.”

Ced nodded. “She really is. She’s all a person could ask for.”

He hunched forward as he continued. “But three years ago I became very ill. Often I would grow feverish and my body would ache. Every day she was so worried about me that she would always stay by my side and take care of me. She would watch over me every waking moment, and wouldn’t even go home or rest. The pain from the illness was nothing compared to seeing how worried she was all the time.”

“It wasn’t too painful at first, but as time went on it kept getting worse. After a month had passed, I was hardly even able to get out of bed. That was when my vision slowly started to get worse. At first I thought it would go away, but day after day it became worse. I was terrified. Seeing Allie by my side, watching over me, gave me the strength to last the day. But that was disappearing. I became so terrified and frustrated that I would yell, even at her, and she would always cry because she couldn’t do anything to help me.”

“By the end of the second month, I no longer grew feverish and the aching went away, but my vision never came back. My vision was completely gone. Every day we would hope my vision would start to come back, but it never did. I wanted nothing more than to see Allie’s beautiful smile again. I was so frustrated that I would always get angry easily at the smallest things. Not being able to see where I’m going, not being able to see the day, not being able to see to work…not being able to see the girl I loved so much, who was always by my side when I needed her.”

Ced paused for a moment. His eyes glistened in the moonlight as he stared off into the pond as he continued. “Even after I was no longer ill, Allie would always stay by my side. She was always there for me. Even when I couldn’t stop myself from yelling at her from being so frustrated, she would be there for me. She always tried to be strong for me, but almost every night, when she thought I was asleep, I would hear her talking to one of our parents, blaming herself for what happened to me. She would always cry, no matter how much our parents comforted her, repeating to herself, ‘I couldn’t do anything…I couldn’t do anything for him…’. It tore me apart inside. No matter how much I told her that I loved her, and how she was the only reason I even made it through the sickness, she would continue to blame herself. So, a few months after my illness, I broke up with her.”

“But why? You two loved each other so much,” asked Kismet.

“I couldn’t bare to see her like that. She spent every second of her life watching over me, and I couldn’t do anything to make her happy again. It was best for her to try and put us in the past.”

Kismet was at a loss for words. A moment of silence filled the air as she gazed sympathetically at him.

Ced inhales sharply with a quick shake of the head. “Sorry about that, I kind of rambled on there.”

“No, not at all. I just had no idea,” insisted Kismet.

“Yeah, I guess it’s a lot to take in. Thank you for listening, though. I just kind of missed where I was going with the story. After we broke up, my family and I moved here to work on a different farm so that Allie and I could live apart. A few times a year our families would still have lunch together, but Allie and I would exchange no more than a simple greeting or an awkward conversation. I assumed she was mad at me, since, after all we’ve been through, I broke up with her. But today she and her family came over for lunch, along with her new boyfriend. Even though it’s been over two years, I couldn’t help but feel jealous, and a little angry. I couldn’t stop myself from being rude, so I excused myself from dinner and went out to the porch.”

“That was the first time in two years that Allie talked to me. She came out to ask what was wrong. I couldn’t lie and tell her I didn’t miss her or that I didn’t love her anymore, and that I was just jealous. Before today, I always thought she was angry at me, but she told me she was never angry; that she still loved me, and always will. I asked her how her new boyfriend was, and she said he was a really nice person. That’s when she said, ‘I really miss you Ced. Don’t you ever look back and wish we were together again?’”

“What did you say?” asked Kismet, entranced in his story.

“I said ‘I won’t lie. I do wish we were still together, but I don’t the decision I made,’” he answered.

“So that’s why you came out here…but you really don’t regret breaking up with her?”

He shook his head and said, confidently, “It was for the best. She was finally able to live her life again. That illness already ruined my life, there’s no reason it should ruin hers too.”

Kismet turned toward him and said encouragingly, “There’s no reason it should ruin yours either! It’ll only ruin your life if you let it. Just because you can’t see any more doesn’t change who you are as a person. It’ll only change you if you let it.”

Ced pondered her words for a moment, then smiled warmly at her. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’ll be hard, but I can’t let this ruin my life. And now that I’ve seen that Allie has moved on, maybe I can move on too.”

“Ced! Ced! Where are you?” called a faint voice.

Kismet silently slipped behind a tree as Ced replied, “Mom? I’m here!”

Kismet peered from the shadows as a middle-aged man and woman rushed up to Ced and embraced him.

“Ced, you had us worried. Don’t go wandering off in the middle of the night!” said the man.

“It’s okay, I’m fine dad.”

“We thought you might’ve gotten lost! What were you even doing here at a time like this?” asked his mother, sobbing hysterically.

“I was just talking to a friend I met here about a week ago. Mom, dad, this is Kismet, Kismet these are my parents,” answered Ced.

“Ohh no…” his mother feels his forehead and touches his cheeks with her palms. “Ced, there’s no one else here. Oh dear…he’s getting sick again isn’t he? What are we going to do? He needs to rest!”

Ced’s mother and father rush him off toward home. Ced’s voice trails off as he gets taken back home. “I’m fine mom! I really was talking to Kismet—.”


Two days later, Kismet rushed to the pond shortly after high noon in hopes that Ced would be waiting there. She knew he was likely busy with work, but she couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. She paced around the pond and hummed a song softly to herself as she tried to pass the time. Every time the breeze rustled the trees, or an animal scurried through the brush, Kismet looked around in hope that somewhere amidst the noise was Ced. Growing tired of waiting, she made her way to Levan.

Kismet scanned the farms of the village for Ced, from behind the cover of the trees. At the closest field to the pond, she spotted him pumping water into a large bucket to the side of the barn. She zipped to the back of the barn excitedly, keeping out of sight.

“Ced!” she whispered sharply.

He flinched in surprise. “Kismet…?”

“Hah, you recognize me?”

Ced gave her a smirk. “Of course. I’m just a bit surprised that you’re here.”

Kismet blushed with embarrassment. Never has she shown such weakness, such lack of self-control. She didn’t know why she acted the way she did, seeking him out so suddenly, but somewhere deep inside, she wanted to be weak. The fear-struck faces, the cold gazes, the abuse, she was tired of it all. For twelve years, she longed for another person like Delphi, one who genuinely cared and enjoyed her company; one who would blesses her with a smile. Despite having been so lonely for all her life, never once had she shed a tear or shown weakness. However, it was because of that warm smile on which they departed the first day they met that Kismet found herself weak and desperate.

“W-well…I was just out and—“

Ced chuckled softly with small beads of sweat glistening on his forehead. “I should be finished here in less than an hour. I’ll meet you at the pond, okay? I have something to give you.”

Kismet, for some reason, felt oddly lonely, even when he smiled at her so sincerely. She returned his ignorant, innocent smile, and responded cheerfully, “I can’t wait.”


Kismet gazed into her reflection in the pond. Slowly, she gently ran her fingers down the thin fur on the side of her face, drawing parted trails with her small, black claws. A pair of yellow cat eyes watched her, unblinking, from the water’s surface.

“Kismet, you here? Sorry for taking so long,” called Ced’s voice from the trees.

She smiled helplessly as he walked into sight. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

“I made something for you,” he said with a warm smile.

Kismet’s face lit with excitement and curiosity. “What is it?”

Atop his open palms was a white silken ribbon with a lotus decorating the center. “It’s a thank you for listening to me that night. Do you like it?”

“I love it! Did you make it yourself?”

“I sure did! It took me awhile too. I just hope it actually turned out well.”

Ced chuckled whole-heartedly, without the faintest sign of self-pity at not being able to see his efforts himself. His smile warmed Kismet’s heart. Never has she felt so much joy.

“It’s absolutely beautiful.”

His face brightened, as if he himself just received something truly precious. He walked toward Kismet, eager to deliver his heartfelt efforts. “I’m so glad. How I wish I could see how beautiful you’d look with it on.”

Hearing those words sent a torrent of sorrow rushing through Kismet’s body. All this time she knew, deep down, the truth, but she never wanted to accept it. Hearing those words surfaced the painful truth she can no longer ignore.

Kismet shook her head as if in disbelief that she could no longer live in a dream. She staggered back a few steps. “No…Ced, I can’t accept this.”

“Why not? It looks horrible, doesn’t it?”

“No, of course not. It looks beautiful, it really does. It’s just—”

“I don’t understand,” he said in confusion, stepping forward.

Kismet began to struggle for air, dreading the thought of how Ced will react to what she was about to confess. “Ced…There’s something about me you should know.”

His expression became grave. “What is it?”

A brief silence filled the air. Kismet began to tremble anxiously. “I’m not beautiful at all. I don’t look anything like how you would imagine me.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Don’t scare me like that. I thought you were going to tell me we wouldn’t be able to see each other anymore.”

Kismet stepped back, “No…you don’t understand—“

Ced smiled reassuringly as he stepped forward, “It was only a figure of speech. It doesn’t matter to me how you loo—“

He tripped.

Helplessly, he stumbled into Kismet, who instinctively catches him. Ced fell heavily on top of her. The two of them lay there, stunned by the impact, with their faces side by side. Kismet, still loosely embracing him from their collision, reluctantly withdrew her arm and asked, “Are you okay?”

A brief moment of silence passed before he responded, “Yeah, I’m fine. I am so sorry; I accidentally tripped on a root. I hope you’re not hurt.”

Their faces gently touched one another as Ced began propping himself up. Ced became rigid. Kismet froze with sudden awareness. The cloak of darkness now stripped away, filled her with fear and anxiety. Ced’s breathing stopped, as if petrified.

Kismet breathed laboriously in attempt to fight back her fear. “Ced…?”

He began to tremble horribly. Slowly lifting his hand to Kismet’s head, Ced cautiously touched her cheek. His hand shook more and more as he ran it over her fur to her large, feline ears.

Kismet’s body shuddered. Her words quaked. “Ced. Please, don’t be afraid.”

Ced quickly pushed himself to his feet in a panic, staggering back into a tree. Kismet watched his face contort, as his dreams suddenly became a horrible nightmare. His eyes welled up with tears, his expression filled with horror, as if he saw her murder someone he loved. “Y—You’re…”

Kismet stepped toward him. “Ced, please—!”

“Stay away!” He stumbles backward over roots and brush.

“Ced…” she said more soothingly, trying to calm him.

His voice trembled painfully, “No. This—this can’t be. You…you’re a catheran? There must be some mistake.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. I wanted to tell you, and I should’ve, but I was afraid of how you’d react.”

He shook his head in disbelief as tears ran down his face. “No…no…”

She grabbed his hand desperately. “Please, don’t be afraid—“

“No…” he staggered back violently. “Stay away from me!”

Kismet reached out helplessly as Ced ran away. She collapsed to her knees and stared into the woods, once again, alone.

Day after day, she returned to the pond in hopes that he would be there. Day after day, she would wait there until the moonlight glistened across the pond. Day after day, she would wait, hoping he would come back. He never did. Every day, she stared at the silk ribbon. She stared at the lotus in the center and caressed its smooth surface. Fashioned with such love and care, she knew the ribbon was never meant for her. It was meant for a young maiden that a misfortunate young man had fallen for, a young maiden fabricated in eternal darkness, but was now lost. A young maiden Kismet longed to, but could never be.

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