Friday, March 6, 2009

Blissful Dream, Part 2 (v1)

I've been working on this a lot slower than I had originally hoped. Hopefully once this school quarter is done, I'll be able to complete the first draft by the end of the spring break. Only time will tell. Meanwhile, here's the next part of the story. I know, it's short.

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Nina placed the bread in Mommy’s hands and resumed mumbling. Karin stared at the bread, which had fallen from the bear’s arms. She enviously watched Nina smile and ramble about random nothings to the stuffed animal beside her. Nina sipped from her wooden spoon as Karin looked down at her empty bowl, unable to recall the days when the bowl would be full every night.

Every night was the same thing. No longer was there any hot stew that warmed her through the cold winter nights. No longer was there any juicy meat that filled her taste buds every time she sank her teeth into it. No longer was there any pie or cake for dessert that she looked forward to every dinner. Every night dwindled to nothing more than stale bread remains, left over scraps donated by sympathetic townsfolk, or whatever near-spoiled food she scavenged from waste piles. Every night she would live off anything, and everything, she could manage to find for her and her sister. Every night she would try to do what she could to live on, to live for the days that their savior was able to bless them with food and a visit.

Karin took an exhaustive bite of stale bread, staring at the front door. She didn’t expect a visit that night, but she always found herself staring hopefully. It’s been eleven days since the last visit. Rarely has it been so long between visits, but Karin already knew that this time it would be longer than usual. She wanted nothing more than to have another visit, to have a brief moment of relief from starvation, to have a day of sleep without the fear of never waking up again. Her body trembled as she ate the last piece of her bread, her body too weak to break into tears. Karin shivered as the late night’s chill quietly howled through the broken window and weaved through her ragged dress. She curled up in the pile of rags in the corner closest to the embers that remained under the cooking pot, drifting off to the sound of Nina’s cheery song.



Full: Blissful Dream, 1st Draft
First: Blissful Dream, Part 1 (v1)
Next: Blissful Dream, Part 3 (v2)

1 comment:

Zet said...

"No longer was there any juicy meat that filled her taste buds every time she sank your teeth into it."

Shouldn't it be "everytime she sank HER teeth into it"?

And it sounded to me like her memories grieved her more than actually make her happy, so maybe it should be "...at her empty bowl, struggling NOT to remember the days when the bowl would be full every night"?